The Past Few Days

I hope everyone had a nice weekend! For those of you who had a 3 day weekend due to the Memorial Day holiday, I hope your extended weekend was a fun and relaxing one! When I used to work outside of the home, I couldn't wait for those 3 day weekends to roll around!
On Memorial Day, I wish we were all sitting at the gorgeous table above, taking in the beauty of the ocean; however our weekend was mostly spent under the weather, rather than enjoying it. Ilah caught a cold last week and passed it onto us. I'm thinking this was the point of exchange ; ) ....Not that there is ever a good time to get a cold, but Dele was in a wedding this past weekend and was super busy in fulfilling his role as being the best man. He was going, going, going especially on Friday, Saturday and Sunday {the day of the wedding; we had a great time!}. Thankfully my mom was a huge help and came over every day, for the past few days, so that I could stay in bed and rest and try to get over this cold that just knocked me out. Ilah still has a runny nose and a tiny bit of a cough. I feel almost 100%, but Dele still isn't feeling that great. Rest is so important when you're not feeling well and unfortunately his days were long, and his nights were even longer. If I knew how to do his job, I would trade places with him so that he could stay home - but I may not be there for more than just an hour before he calls and wants to trade places back ; )

Last week was my mother-in-law's birthday. We took her out to dinner at a delicious Asian restaurant and Ilah admired the pretty fish that were in the tank there. She was squirming in her seat wanting out to go see the fish up close and kept pointing at them telling us "see!" and then blowing them kisses when she got back to her seat. Ha!

Last week was also my mom's birthday! And although I wasn't feeling well, I sucked it up because I wanted to make her day a great one! We started the day off by going out to breakfast... Then we hit up Atlantic Station and walked around and went in to some shops. Ilah was the only one who got things. How does that always happen?!...

We stopped in for some yummy ice-cream at Kilwins! The best! Of course Abuela gave her baby a bite : ) .....
We returned home late in the afternoon and Ilah took a nap...actually, we ALL did! When we woke up, my mom opened up her birthday cards and all her gifts! My MIL was leaving to go out of town so Dele took her to the airport while we went out to dinner! Here's a pic of just the remnants! My mom thought her food was DELICIOUS!....Dele's birthday is this week, and then Fathers Day follows. Every year, there's lots of happenings at the end of May/beginning of June that has me being one busy bee! I also managed to mail out a birthday package to my closest girlfriend {who lives in CA}, whose birthday is tomorrow! These cupcake cookies that I made just for her were enclosed....

So thankful for family and friends and wonderul memories that will be cherished forever!

As If I Need Another Hobby

I always thought that sugar cookies decorated with royal icing were not only so cute, but essentially a work of edible art! I assumed that it was something that I would never personally master - or even be somewhat good at - so I never made an attempt...prior to this past Easter {when I finally decided to give it a try; you can read how that went here}. I did make some chocolate chip smiley face cookies for my friend Jennifer, and found out that royal icing wasn't as hard to work with as I had thought. It made me eager to find a good sugar cookie recipe and really see if I could make some adorable cookies of my own. I did a post after Mothers Day, in which I shared photos heart shaped zebra sugar cookies that I made {which turned out so darn cute if I do say so myself!}, but Blogger went whack the next day and that post was removed from my blog. Those of you who use Blogger were all too familiar with the frusteration of a post deletion, especially if it was as long as mine was. Some of you may have seen that post, because I did get some comments, but within hours it "vanished". Anyways....those zebra cookies were my first attempt at decorating sugar cookies.

These ice-cream cone shaped cookies were my second attempt....

I made these last weekend to take to our church's BBQ. I got a little brave in using multiple colors, which meant that these little creations took a while to make, as it took about an hour just to make all the icing colors. But I had lots of fun doing them!

They aren't perfect; I still have lots to learn. But as a nearly first timer, they didn't turn out too shabby : )

My sugar cookie recipe came from this site. The first time I tried it {when I made my zebra stripped cookies}, the cookies didn't spread and remained perfect in shape. This time, however, they spread a bit {even after omitting baking powder; I was also careful not to overmix}; I'm not sure what happened. I will keep experimenting!

You can also see that the brown icing didn't set properly. After going to a few sites of cookie pro's, it seems that it may have been because of the humidity? Or maybe because the flood icing wasn't thick enough? Again...I will keep experimenting : )

After the cookies were completely set, I packaged them up {laying them between individual pieces of parchment paper so that they would't stick together} in an airtight container.
And off they went to the church BBQ where they were a BIG hit!!

The BBQ was lots of fun and Ilah had a great time running around, playing with bubbles, drawing with sidewalk chalk, and eating lots of watermelon!.....

We are loving our new church home! My mom has started attending as well. So thankful to be growing in connection with some wonderful people and growing in my walk with God too!

Before I Met "The One"

While although this blog draws in many readers who are married women, I know that there are also quite a few readers who are single and waiting on the one.

I have gotten some emails from some of you over the past few months, and in recent weeks, who have asked me how I curbed my loneliness and remained patient while waiting for God to send me “the one”. This is something that I have never gone in to great detail about on my blog but in wanting this space to also be an outlet for me to share my heart and my faith, I’d like to open up to you….

My first relationship began when I was just a few months shy of seventeen years old. It was to a guy that was around seven years older than me – and while that may sound a bit wild that he was twenty-four and I was seventeen, he was a close family friend and I wasn’t your average seventeen year old. Our relationship was mature and very grounded. I fell so in love with him. He was a Christian, a family guy, super intelligent, had a heart for the Lord, was incredibly talented in the field that he was pursuing, and we loved one another’s families. He was very good to me and opened my eyes to many beautiful things about life. Our relationship was very well balanced; we dated for two years and then....the break up came. I remember it like it was yesterday. He sat me down on his bed and said that I was about to embark on the best years of my life and he didn’t want our relationship to hold me back from all of the great experiences that were awaiting me and that {in a positive way} I would grow and change as I evolved into an older me. His voice was soft as he told me that he didn’t want our relationship to hinder that growth from happening. I was devastated. His reasoning for dissolving our relationship seemed genuine and selfless - but deep inside of me I questioned if that was the real reason. Nonetheless, my heart was broken. I thought that he was the man that I would marry and spend the rest of my life with. We remained friends even after our relationship ended {imagine that! But it was after quite a bit of time a part as to not blur the lines}. We remained in each others lives, as friends for years…up until his marriage, which happened several years before mine. Naturally, we don’t speak anymore. But I will always remember that relationship as being one filled with good times that I will always cherish. And while although I thought he was “the one”…he wasn’t.

The next few years were years that I don’t seem to remember much of because they were comprised of being in a tumultuous relationship with a guy that I wish was wiped from my story book completely. In my early college years, I was with an egotistical, self-centered cheater who caused me a great amount of angst. I stayed in that relationship, against my better judgment, because I thought I could change him. I thought that his eventual willingness to go with me to church would cause a shift in his ways and that he would ask for Christ to come into heart and this amazing transformation would take place in him. But instead of bringing him up to a positive place in his life, he just ended up bringing me down and our relationship kept my heart palpitating wondering which lie he would be telling me next. The things that I went through were mind-blowing… so much so that if I went into details, your jaw would be on the floor – and just might stay that way for days. One day I finally said to myself, “I am better than this” and I ended that relationship. He tried endlessly to get me back – for years – and his attempts were far-reaching…but there was no way that I was returning to that dysfunctional relationship. I had great staying-power and oddly, I loved him unconditionally – but I reached my limit once my self-worth flag popped up. My mom probably has permanent rug burns on her knees for all the months that she took me before the Lord in prayer. When I exited that relationship I felt as though I had been tossed around by a tornado. I knew that I should have never even entered into that relationship – my intuition told me that nothing good would come from it – NOTHING. Needless to say, when all was said and done, I felt mentally battered, emotionally drained and physically exhausted.

A few years later, along came the preacher’s son - who I met during a three night conference that my church [at the time] was having. And wow, was I instantly smitten. Literally the night that I saw him, I felt in my spirit that he was “the one”. He was charming, charismatic, and a total gentleman. He loved the Lord, was actively involved in ministry and our relationship quickly evolved. I took a leave of absence from my job to join him in traveling throughout the southern states, where he was a part of a ministry team. I was excited to be pursuing the things of God, while also growing closer to an amazing man. Just three months into our relationship, he proposed. I said yes and soon after, wedding plans were underway. He moved to California, my Pastor gave him a position as Youth Minister as our fairly large church, and together this was going to be our ministry. Everything happened quickly, but we both felt that it was all in alignment with God’s plan for us. And then a shift suddenly happened. On the way back from transporting his things to California, we had a disagreement that led me to call him up and suggest that we go to premarital counseling. We didn’t speak for nearly a week before I called him to touch base. He told me that he didn’t feel we needed pre-marital counseling because he didn’t think we should be getting married. And just like that, our relationship was done, our wedding deposits were gone, and my happily ever after would never be …and he didn’t seem to even care. I was sick to my stomach. I lost 25 pounds in less than a month. I can’t tell you how many times my mom rocked her grown daughter in her arms as I cried and cried and cried, not comprehending what in the world happened. This relationship was especially hard to move on from because I still had to see him, every Sunday, at church. I questioned God. I didn’t understand the reasoning. I never wanted to go from one relationship to the next. I wanted to be married young. I felt that I was a great partner and that I would make a wonderful wife. And now here I was, on my third unsuccessful relationship. AND THEN…a lot was revealed to me about this man that I was going to marry. The things that came to light are worthy of a CNN special. The details are too much to expound on, but let’s just say that I was SPARED. Looking back, God was completely covering me but at the time, I couldn’t see it. I was just fixated on the hurt and heartache and the confusion and didn’t see/couldn’t see that the dissolve of that relationship was purposed.

When that relationship ended, I pressed in and sought God fervently. In my pain, I wanted to be consumed with His presence. I didn’t want to just have a temporary touch – I wanted to be/felt that I NEEDED to be, submersed in His presence day and night. I wanted His plans and purpose{s} for my life to begin being birthed and I made a choice to draw close to Him like never before. I refocused my thoughts and detoured off of “Why Me? Lane” and onto “Better Things Avenue”. I started an online magazine for Christian youth, I traveled to Haiti to be a speaker with Youth for Christ, I attended numerous Christian conventions, concerts, and conferences…I was in church three times a week, every time the doors were open….and I was reading book after book to strengthen my walk in Christ. I was so on fire for God…for a good few years - until my yearning to be with someone resurfaced.

{Insert here a few half-hearted relationships with men that I knew weren’t the one but for the sake of not wanting to be alone, I attached myself to momentarily. Hey, just keepin’ it real. And then I told myself, “enough is enough”. I felt convicted for returning to the world’s ways and not trusting God and His timing as to when my life-long partner would come. I made a concrete decision to keep my eyes on the Lord and not worry about my future – that the Lord knew the desires of my heart…that I was always on His mind and that His intensions towards me were always good}.

Naturally, the above are short versions of my real-life stories as it would take me months to write out all the detailed things that transpired throughout the course of my relationships and things that took place during those years of my life. But the summarized versions still relay much.

When I moved from California to Atlanta, I was twenty-six years old. I was excited to be in a new place, have a fresh start, and was eager to plant myself in a church home and excel in my new job. I was no longer fixated on meeting “the one”. Instead I was looking forward to seeing all that God had in store for me as I remained consistent in His ways. As it turned out….He did produce the desire of my heart…in His timing. It was Dele. {We met at church; you can go here to read my version, and here to read Dele's version}. Our relationship took quite a while to develop. It wasn’t a relationship that was rushed into. We prayed individually for months, seeking God’s will – not wanting to go further without the Lord’s release. During that time, Dele walked softly and took delicate care of my heart. It was during this time that I read a book called “Boundaries in Dating” and “coincidently” our church was doing a series on courtship. Although I was incredibly anxious to know if Dele wanted to be with me, I stayed in my rightful place as a woman and didn’t initiate the relationship or question his intensions {you have no idea how hard that was!}. Clearly this was something unlike anything I had ever entered into, but I wanted to know for sure that it was the Lord’s doing and that Dele was hearing from Him. It required me to fully trust God and man. Our relationship obviously did end up transpiring : ) I remember one night, sitting on the edge of my bed, questioning if I was in love with Dele. I “knew” what love felt like and what I was feeling for him was so very different. In that moment I felt the Holy Spirit tell me that the love that I had been shown before, in my past relationships, was imitation love. It wasn’t the real, pure thing. That what I was experiencing with Dele was the type of love that the Father has towards me….a lasting kind of love. A love that doesn’t hurt, a love that trusts, a love that is binding. To be loved by a man in a way that God loves me – for him to strive to love me that way – was unbelievable. I had never had it before to know that it indeed was the best kind of love to be given. And…well…you know how this story ends : )

I thought that I would be married in my early twenties. Instead, I got married in my late twenties. Twenty-nine to be exact – there’s no other number more closer to thirty than that – I barely got in there! Ha! But God’s timing…is the right timing. While although I might wish to go back and erase some of the hurt and pain that was endured, to do so would also be erasing some valuable life lessons and the turning points that drew me closer to God.

I want to encourage all you single ladies who are still waiting on the one. Those of you who long to be that couple that you see holding hands. Those of you who watch wedding shows yearning for that to be you. God knows the desires of your heart. Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father above {James 1:17}. Trust that He hasn’t forgotten about you. Have faith that He is working things out for your good. I heard a saying once...“When you see the least happening, that’s when God is doing the most work”. Keep seeking Him in all your ways. Keep thanking Him for holding your life in His hands. I know it’s hard to wait. I know what it’s like to settle…to get impatient and force something that you know isn’t meant to be. I have been “that girl” who had one foot in the world, and one foot in church…wanting to follow in God’s ways yet was also following in the world’s ways. And then I became “that girl” who decided to fully trust in the Lord and solely concentrate on what it was that He wanted to do in me, and through me, while I was still single. I wanted to be devoted to Him – and I made the choice to do just that. And when I surrendered, so many wonderful things followed. Don’t lose heart. God was still refining me for Dele, which is why I didn’t meet him earlier. Perhaps God is still refining you. He was polishing me and wanted to present me to Dele as His perfect gift, in His perfect timing.

I know this post is quite long but I didn't want to break it a part into two separate posts. If you've made it this far, I hope that sharing my story has provided you with hope and encouragement. Hold onto 1 John 5:14-15 that says: "This is the confidence we have in approaching God; that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of Him".

Lastly, I want to share with you a song by Rita Springer off of her first CD {entitled “Effortless”}. This was a song that I listened to a lot during my “waiting” period, knowing that all of the pain that I had gone through was going to be worth it one day. As you listen to the words of this song below, let them resonate in you. And remember….YOU ARE ALWAYS ON HIS MIND.

The Contemplation of Ending My Blog

I took an unintended hiatus from my blog last week when my computer crashed...as I was in the middle of writing my last and final blog post that would be on “From Marriage To Motherhood”. I had decided that after nearly three years of typing away within my little space on the web, and covering several topics, that there really wasn’t too much else {besides my daily happenings} to write about.

Three years ago when I was engaged, this blog served the purpose of sharing my wedding ideas and documenting my excitement as I prepared to become a bride. A year later, I walked down the aisle, became a Mrs., and did many posts recapping our exquisite wedding day…and then shared details of our fabulous honeymoon to Prague and Vienna. And then in what seemed like three-point-five seconds, I was pregnant. It turned out that we brought back a permanent souvenir from our honeymoon {I still stand by this belief despite the Dr. saying that we actually conceived two weeks after our return}. In essence, I quickly went “From Marriage To Motherhood”. The most beautiful stages of my life welded together in just a short amount of time and this blog holds within it, all of those amazing moments and the feelings of those times.

I felt like there was a lot to write about in the first year of marriage and the first year of motherhood {I had intended to end this blog shortly after Ilah was born because I didn’t think that I would have the time to devote to it, but I am so glad that I continued}. So many topics came to mind and I loved having this blog as an outlet to express myself, whether it be through thought-provoking posts, or writing about random musings. But now…I feel as though you get the gist of how my life is – my days are pretty mundane. There is no wedding to plan, no honeymoon to be had, and no more pregnancy high’s {or low’s} to share. I started to feel that with the exception of the occasional exciting vacation plans, friends visiting from out of state, a fun birthday celebration, or enjoyable holiday festivities, that my blog was becoming dull, and therefore I wasn’t enjoying it anymore.

While many fellow mommy bloggers have expressed that they utilize their blog to primarily document their family life, that isn’t my sole - or even main – purpose here. As my readership has grown, so has my online community and I love connecting with you – yes, those who I don’t even know – and sharing common ground with fellow women. No matter the different places that we are at in our lives – whether we have similarities or not - I have wanted my blog to be a place that you stopped in, felt comfortable, and depending on the day, got a laugh, felt encouraged, or simply got a new recipe to try out. On the days that I have written posts from the heart, are the days in which the most comments {and private emails to me} have come in – and each of you are able offer up your own enlightening perspective that all of us can draw from. Trust me when I say that I gain a lot from your words, just as you do from mine.

Three paragraphs into typing out my good-bye post to you all, my computer died and could not be brought back to life {which is why I only had one post up last week}. I don’t want to read too much into it, but the timing of it all did make me question the correlation. And then, just days later, I received an extra long comment on my blog from a reader who “coincidently” just now left a comment on a post that I wrote many months ago. Last year, back in October of 2010, I did a post in which I asked you, my readers, “Why Do You Read My Blog?” All of the 44 answers that I received were so touching. I’m not sure if you could tell, but even back then, I was contemplating closing the virtual doors of my blog {I also relayed in that post why I blog}. It was all of the endearing comments from you that made me feel that perhaps I wasn’t ready to call it quits just yet. The most recent comment to that post came just last week, and it was that person’s words, along with the feedback that I have been getting from people close to me [with regard to me ending my blog], that caused me to pause and rethink if I wanted to permanently unplug from my tiny little space on the internet. I normally don’t put other people’s comments within a blog post, but in part, these are the words left within that comment:

“….please continue your blog and keep doing what you’re doing. If you ever get bored or lose faith or get too busy we’ll be there to cheer you on and let you know that you DO make a difference. Thank you for letting us all be a part of your life”….

Paige, it seems to me that your comment on a post that I wrote seven months ago was purposed to arrive to me just last week.

So…..

After some further thought….

I think this little ol’ blog of mine still has some stories to tell. Some life lessons to share. Some advice to give {and receive}. And some personal, relatable things to talk about.

I decided that I will sit down and make a list of topics that I will be turning into blog posts. They will be things that I will be sharing from the heart and will require me to be a bit vulnerable; but I feel that in choosing to continue to blog, that this online space needs to serve a greater purpose other than sharing my meal planning ideas and posting updated adorable pictures of Ilah. Aside from you coming here to see what I’m up to that week, I also want this blog to be a place of encouragement, honesty and authenticity. The comments {and moreover, the many emails} that I have received following a post in which I have been transparent, tells me that I need to do more of those posts for we all enter onto common ground when our imperfections are made visible - for that’s when we are truly able to bond as women….when we share our stories.

As long as I know this blog is serving a purpose, I will continue writing. And feel free to also let me know if there is a topic you would like for me to write about. I’m open to that! : )

In advance, I will tell you that there will be some days that I won’t be able to get around to writing and you may not see a new post on my blog for a day or two, or sometimes longer. I try to not have that lapse but sometimes it just can’t be prevented. But hopefully on the days that time does permit, I would love to do 2 posts {as I once did, pre-baby!}.

Whether you are someone who has been a reader since my pre-marriage days, someone who has been following along since my pregnancy, or you are a new reader who has just gotten acquainted with my blog - thank you from the bottom of my heart for growing with me and sharing in the joys of my life.

Ilah, 16 Months Old

Ilah, last week you turned 16 months old. On that exact day, I took these photos of you - on May 12th. You are growing not only in beauty, but also in your personality! And boy, do you have a BIG one!! So what are you up to? Let's see....

You LOVE being outside. When we bring you in, you have a meltdown. A total, complete meltdown. Accompanied with tears and kicking. I'm sure you would prefer to have your crib outside so that you could always feel the breeze blowing by you.

You love bubbles. You get so excited when you see them floating through the air. You take the wand and try to blow them yourself but can't do it quite yet.

You have started to become a picky eater. Uh oh! Right now your favorite things to eat are eggs, pasta and fruit.

You have started to climb the stairs one foot at a time, rather than on your knees. In fact, you are starting/trying to climb most things now {the pillows on our bed in an attempt to crawl up our headboard, and you are also now trying to climb onto the couch}.
You love having shoes on your feet. Whether your own - or mommy or daddy's : ) Anytime you see shoes, you put your foot into them!

You understand every single direction that we give you. You are so smart Ilah!

You always wake up with a smile!! ALWAYS!!

You like to move things from one area of the room to another. Lately you've been moving around the barstools in the kitchen. They aren't light....you are one strong little girl!

Speaking of the kitchen, it's time for us to begin cooking on the stove's back burner's. You are just about tall enough to reach up and put your little hands where they aren't supposed to go.
Mommy plays a CD of bible songs when we are in the car and you just love the music! You clap your hands, hit your knees, and shake your body to the music! So cute!

You don't like to be carried. You want down and you want your freedom!

You are now totally into your riding toys and scoot around from one room to the next, pressing your horn and saying "weee!!". Yesterday you climbed on top of your Disney riding toy, with both feet, and stood on the seat!

You LOVE to give us kisses! It's the sweetest thing ever!! And we can't get enough of them!!

It's now come to pass...you are on one nap a day. It started this week.
You run around all over the place!! I've said it before...and I'll say it again....you are one busy little girl! You hardly ever sit still. For a girl that doesn't have too much sugar, you sure do have A LOT of energy!! Ha ha!!

Your new favorite toy is the "Dora & Boots" bathtoys that your Abuela bought for you probably eight months ago. You often bring one or the other to mommy and we sit and play with them. You still sleep with your favorite stuffed animal - your pink puppy {that daddy named Rufea}. Oh how you love your little puppy!

And I have to add this, just so I remember....you follow mommy around A LOT - and this includes following me into the bathroom. For a while now you have been in a stage of copying everything that you see me doing. So now you take some toilet paper off of the role and wipe yourself {with your clothes on}...it cracks me up!!

We have a hard time telling you "No". I mean...look at that face!! I told Daddy recently that we can't let you get away with things as much anymore! Ha!

You love going to church and playing with all of the other little ones there. The nursery workers can't help but see what a busy little girl you are but they notice how sweet you are and dote on you endlessly!

Today we went to story time at a book store and Ilah, my love....you were all over the place and man, did you make mommy sweat! I think you are still a little too young. We will try again when you are a bit older. But like daddy said, at least we tried ; )

WE LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY ILAH!!!!

Love, Mommy & Daddy

Ilah's 1st Birthday Party Keepsakes

Ilah's 1st Birthday was a little over 5 months ago and I just realized {when I saw it yesterday} that I never posted pictures of the little keepsake box that I bought to house sweet reminders of her first birthday in. I thought this would be something special to give to Ilah when he is an adult. I bought this box for just $2.99 at ROSS, months before Ilah's birthday. In fact, it was one of the first purchases that I made, even before I delved in to buying lots of her decor.

Eventually I will get around to labeling this box "Ilah's 1st Birthday Keepsakes" and place it in the alloted space on the box.

I still need to place some more things inside, like photos of the actual birthday party. I had bought a photo album that had birds on it and it was so cute but it was too big to fit inside so I returned it because I wanted everything to fit inside this one box. So I still need to get a mini photo album and print out pictures of Ilah's bird-theme 1st birthday party: Our "Tweetheart" turns 1!

For now, here are the contents of what's inside Ilah's keepsake box:

All of the cards that she received when she turned 1....

The cute little Dora slippers that she wore on her birthday, along with some of the party decor....

Ilah's birthday hat, that I made for her - and the cute little food labels that I made out of paper, felt and fabric.....

One of the nests, and speckled eggs sitting inside of it, that were out on display around the food {there were many, as these were also on each of the place settings}....

The ribbon that was wrapped around the cake server.....

The "Happy Birthday Ilah" banner that I made to adorn the top of her cake....

The little overall dress that she wore on her birthday!...And the "1" that was stuck in her cupcake!....

The hairbow that I made to match her darling little birdie dress.....

I can't believe that Ilah is 16 months old TODAY!...and that I have already begun planning her 2nd birthday party : )

If you haven't yet seen the pictures of Ilah's 1st Birthday {or if you just want to see them again!}, here are the links: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, The Day After