Competition in Christianity, Part 1

My name is Jessica. And I am an imperfect Christian.

I think that’s the best preface for what I’m about to open up and share with you.

One evening, about a month ago, my husband and I cozied up on the couch after dinner and channel surfed to find something worth while {which these days, is very hard to come by}. As we were browsing through a slew of “nothingness” something caught my eye – a program called Hillsong TV. I was familiar with Hillsong music as I have purchased several of their praise and worship cd’s over the years {worship leader Darlene Zschech has such an annointing on her voice}. That evening, Hillsong TV was broadcasting a message entitled “When Ordinary People Pray” delivered by its Pastor, Brian Houston. As I was listening I found him to be so authentic, so real, and so relatable. He was delivering a simple, yet profound message – one in which I will never forget.

His message in a nutshell: We are all imperfect. No matter who we are, there are things in all of our lives that need to change. Let’s stop the spiritual competition and be transparent with one another.

Those words really resonated within me.

If you've been a long time reader of my blog then you've read this post in which I talked about letting God more into my blog; that post also shares why I was initially reluctant to do so. But ultimately I wanted to share my heart with all of you more and not conceal my faith and love for the Lord. By opening that door, for some, it brought another commonality to the table and has allowed transparency, even if it's just in a small way, to shine through. Sometimes it's not always easy to lift up our privacy fences but being relatable can have a powerful impact - in fact, transparency and being will to share our testimony has led/can lead many people towards salvation. It's not always easy to live out our christian walk in front of others - God is much more compassionate than people are and He sees into our heart, whereas people cannot.

Yes, I am a Christian– but I am an imperfect one. I am a flawed human being who has been saved by grace and if it weren’t for God’s mercy, forgiveness, faithfulness, favor, protection, provision, unconditional love, continual blessings and endless devotion towards me, who knows where I would be.

I have sinned, repented of that sin, and then repeated that same sin again. Again I will say, thank God for His mercy and forgiveness.

I haven’t always followed in God’s ways, abided by His commandments, or have completely walked out His calling on my life.

The day that my father died, I said the following words to God: “HOW COULD YOU!?!” Followed by...“I HATE YOU”.

There are some days that I am conscious to spend time in prayer and others days that I just don’t make it a priority.

Some days I take the time to think about all the blessings in my life and tell the Lord how grateful I am for them, and then there are days that I just…don’t.

Some days I am a submissive wife – some days I’m not. And on those days that I’m not it’s likely because I’m being headstrong, impatient, intolerant or controlling {sometimes all of those things at once}.

Last Sunday I went to church – this past Sunday I didn’t. To be even more transparent, we’ve been out of church for months and have just started going back.

There was a time in my life when I was so on fire for the things of God – when I was passionately, whole-heartedly serving Him with all that was within me {I shared a lot about that time in my life in this post}. I was so mindful of pursuing the call of God on my life and the plans and purposes that He created me for. Nowadays I’m stagnant. However, being a child of God, the Holy Spirit is hard at work in me and He isn’t letting me easily put those things permanently to the way side.

I have been in some really, really unhealthy – and un-Godly – relationships. And man, did God have His hand on me.

In my past I have lied. About a lot of things.

I occasionally enjoy a nice glass of wine or a good cocktail. I used to be so conflicted about drinking alcohol {was it ok?, was it not ok?} – it’s something I rarely do but when I do, I don’t have an internal struggle or guilt about it anymore.

I have been judgmental of others.

I’ve said a curse word or two {or 3,684} in my time.

And while I’m at it I should mention that when I was probably eight or nine years old, I pocketed a few butterscotch balls from the grocery store’s candy bin.

For me, transparency {especially with Christians} doesn’t come easy. And theoretically it ought to, no? After all, jointly we are the body of Christ, designed to [among other things] uphold one another. But I have noticed that we aren’t always naturally inclined to be authentic with one another. Why is that? Could it be because there’s an underlying spiritual competition that exists and it keeps us at bay from each other?

Getting back to the message that I watched on Hillsong TV…..

In Houston’s message he gets into a story about the time when he was going through seminary school. Surely everyone there had to be “holy”, right? One evening a group of men from the school gathered together to fellowship and pray. But on that night, something different happened. One by one, the guys started opening up, getting real, and confessing their faults on to another…one said that he was a chain smoker, to which everyone became wide-eyed and shocked, sitting in disbelief. Because of the first guy’s transparency, another guy opened up and shared that he had an anger problem and couldn’t control his cursing banters or suppress his “wave” of the middle finger to people who he became irritated with. Because of the first guy’s transparency and the second’s guys authenticity, a third guy voiced that he is a compulsive gossiper and cant wait to get out of the place…to tell everyone about the other two guys' issues! Ha! It was quite a funny story – but it was told to make a point….

Prior to that day, before those men had shared some of their imperfections one to another, they would size each other up spiritually – not knowing of the inner, private battles that each of them faced. They would seemingly compete {consciously? unconsciously?} for who was the bigger, better, more spiritual giant. Who would say the longer, better, more fervent, prayer. Who was living their life more closely in alignment with the word of God. All the while they were each intimidated by the perception that the other person gave off – the perception of having it all together. It wasn’t until they became authentic with one another and showcased their flaws that they realized that having a transparent heart, and having an atmosphere of authenticity, and being real one to another, is a beautiful, liberating thing.

In our walk with God, we are always being refined. We don't get saved and then become perfect. We don't have to work, however, for God's love. His acceptance of us comes without conditions. And although mistakes will be made, there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus {Romans 8:1}.

So do we be transparent with just anyone about our past pain and our current struggles?

.... Part 2 to Follow ….

Marcia Cross' Trailer on the set of Desperate Housewives

Although it was highlighted in October of 2007, I am just now seeing the feature that Traditional Home did of Marcia Cross' trailer. Talk about an oh-so-glamaourous retreat! To say that it's devine is an understatement! Have a look....

Not exactly what you envision when you hear the word "trailer", huh?! The small space was impeccably "beautified"!

For information on the design elements, visit the Traditional Home online feature here.

Strollin' Through Target

Yesterday morning I scooped up this pretty little thing and headed to Target {for a very quick trip!}.

I wanted to see what kind of walking toys Target carried; I was curious if they had anything different from the other two stores that I've been to. They didn't. But it was fun strolling!....

Doesn't she look so comfy in there!? I took her to Target in her comfy at-home play clothes : )

I got these little shoes for Ilah while I was pregnant - she wore them yesteday for the first time. Considering how fast she is growing she probably won't wear them too many more times so I took a picture of them on her little feet!

Holding mommy's hand. I love it!....

Sometimes she tries to eat me too....

All the kiddie pools, floating devices, goggles, etc. were on clearance so I picked up this sun canopy for the pool for next summer {just $3}.

In preparation for fall, Target had such cute clothes out for little ones....

I think the saying on these pj's are so cute! Wish the top was long sleeve....

Last year before Ilah was born I bought some really cute pj's on clearance at Target. I looked at them hanging in her closet last weekend and thought that they might still be too big for her to wear but I went ahead and took the tags off a few and washed them {I hang dry everything}; well, I went to put her in one before bedtime last week and as it turns out, it was too small! They are all the same brand which means they are all too small! : ( This little one is growing like a weed!

Time for a Walking Toy!

Little Ilah has been standing on her own for about a month and a half now and while though she proves to be adventureous {she started climbing up the stairs on her knees this weekend}, she has yet to try to take her first steps. At only 8 1/2 months old, she's still young but she was an early crawler and since she takes just delight in standing on her own and pushing on her highchair to skoot it forward {making tiny little steps as she holds onto it} I predict she will be an early walker. So I looked into getting her a toy that encourages walking and I'm undecided between the "Playskool Step Start Walk 'n Ride" and the "V-Tech My First Activity Farm Walker".

The Playskool one converts into a ride-on toy and has some fun little playful gadgets on it but not nearly as many as the V-Tech, but it doesn't convert into a ride-on toy. Both have good reviews; I just need to decide which one to buy.

It also comes in pink:

Below is the V-Tech, which seems like it may be a bit more sturdier and has many more playful elements to it. I also like that Ilah can sit on the floor in front of it and play with the various engaging components and also stand up and use it as a walking toy.

It seems that they also make a similar one in pink, but I can only find the pink one for sale in the UK and Australia : /

In case you are interested, the Playskool Step Start Walk 'n Ride retails for about $20, and the V-Tech goes for about $35. Based on my research and reading a ton of reviews, they are both good little walking toys. There aren't too many on the market so there's really not a whole lot to choose from. Yesterday I was leaning more towards the Playskool one and even went to the store to buy it but they were all out {a sign maybe?...because after a little more thought I started to think that the V-Tech was the better choice}.

Mommy contemplation #642 out of 1 billion!

A Root Canal That Was Anything But Fun

I had a root canal done yesterday morning and it laid me out! I'm used to the process as I've had two root canals prior to this one. But this third one was a doozy! It took about a half an hour, and more than 20 injections, to get me numb. It was a 2 hr procedure that was anything but fun. As I sat there, I kept thinking that I was undergoing a form of torture. Ha!

In the past I have rebounded just fine from having a root canal but this time around I actually had to fill my prescription because the pain afterwards was just so bad. The medication however has put me in a fog and has made me soooo nauseous. After taking 2 pills yesterday, as prescribed, I still feel the awful side effects of them today {nearly 20 hrs later} so I have decided to ditch taking them because I hate how they make me feel {light headed, loopy, nauseous, hot, dizzy}; I'd rather just tolerate the pulsating pain from my root canal than take any more of those Hydrocodone pills. Thank goodness my mom lives so close - she came over earlier today to watch Ilah while I spent some time in bed to try and sleep off the pain and the awful feeling that the med's left on my system. I hope to be back to my normal self soon! Because tomorrow is Saturday and I'm all about getting out : )

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Ilah, 8 Months Old

I’m a few weeks behind in getting Ilah’s 8 month post up. I’m sure I will think of something later that I didn’t add to this list but here is a good run down of the fun milestones that we’re experiencing with our sweet girl.

So, Ilah....what have you been up to!?

• I’m not sure of your recent stat’s {will find out on 10/12 at your next appt} but you are growing so fast and getting so big {and heavy!}.

• You are now wearing 12 month clothes. You can still wear some 9 month clothes {mostly onsies}; you are growing sooo fast!

• You are starting to pull your headbands and bows off your head! I knew that time was bound to come!

• You are transitioning from stage 2 foods to stage 3 foods. You have taken well to everything you have eaten! Initially we started you on Gerber {organic} but not too long after switched to Earths Best because there were more food options. In addition to your sold food, you take 4 bottles a day. You are so happy when you eat…just like your momma!

• You are starting to reach for your spoon when being fed. I see some messy days ahead!

• You started making this new face....hilarious!.....

• You communicate with us with lots of squeals, shrieking, laughs, screams, and other various cute and precious babbling sounds.

• You say “Da Da” and your daddy can’t get enough of it! When I look at you and say “Momma”, you say… “Da Da”. I just have to laugh!
  

• You have a very strong, yet fun personality. You get upset if we take anything away from you….especially mommy’s cell phone or the tv remote.

• You have your bottom two teeth and today I noticed that your two top teeth are coming in now! Your left one looks like it’s going to break through any day!

• You LOVE when we play peek-a-boo with you. In general, you like “hide and seek” games. I will sit by you and hide your bunny rabbit or your pink doggy behind my back and then bring it out from behind my back and you just get a total kick out of the repetition of it!

• You are always on the go....

• You drink from a sippy cup. You’re doing good with it, but thank goodness it has a no-spill top because sometimes you really fling that thing around!

• You’ve been standing all on your own, and crawling, for quite a while now but you haven’t started to take any steps just yet. When you attempt to, you get nervous and choose to fall on your cute little bum. We looked at some walking toys for you over the weekend but we wanted to check out a few more places before getting one. You will have one by next weekend!

• When you see yourself in the mirror you get right up to it with your nose and sometimes lick it! Ha! You’re a funny girl!
  

• You understand the word “No”…half the time you listen, half the time you don’t. That was expected!
  

• You loooove playing with mommy and daddy in our bed. You just get goin’ and tumble around in our sheets and have loads of fun!

• When we tell you to give us a kiss, you will come in close to our mouth and then stick your tongue out and lick our lips…sometimes our nose! We think it’s the cutest, sweetest thing and we laugh every time.

• You discovered that we have stairs. Uh-oh! You better believe we keep a close eye on you!

• Yesterday you opened a bottom kitchen cupboard on your own. Can you say…“babyproof will now be in full force”!

• You are a water baby. You love your tubby time!

• You are super strong. Enough said!

• You find the smallest, microscopic thing on the floor and move whatever it is with your tiny little fingers. And yes, sometimes you try to put it in your mouth. I’ve been stopping you from doing that A LOT lately!

• You love it when we read to you…and of course, you grab at the pages : )

• You are so into “Dora, The Explorer! I let you watch it once {sometimes twice} a day and when the songs come on, you get goin’ - bouncing up and down and streaking! You LOVE Dora!
  

• We are always getting stopped when we are out with you. People eat you up when they see you – you are always getting told how adorable you are!

• Last month we got you your big girl car seat and you loooove it {we do too!}. You are so comfy and cozy in it, and you fall asleep every time you’re in it.

• You started clapping your hands! Your Abuela taught you patty cake and you love doing it! And every time you hear a song, you start clapping your hands. It’s sooo cute!

• You whistle! It came out of nowhere a month or so ago and you still do it. It's hilarious!....

• You are always getting into something....

• You’re a great sleeper. You go down every night between 7:30 p.m. and 8:00 p.m. and get up between 7:30 a.m. and 8:00 a.m. You only wake in the middle of the night if your diaper has leaked {hopefully we’ve solved that problem permanently by now using Pampers Extra Protection as your nighttime diaper}.
  

• You nap at the same times every day – 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. Your morning nap lasts for about 1 hr – 1 ½ hrs and your afternoon nap usually lasts for 1 ½ hrs, sometimes it extends to 2 hrs…2 ½ hrs on a really, really, really good day.

• You always greet me and/or daddy with a HUGE smile when we come in to get you when you wake.

• Mommy and Daddy sing all kinds of made-up funny songs to you. Don’t worry…we won’t sing them out loud to you when you’re 16 and your friends are around ; )

• You've discovered shadows but haven't yet realized that they aren't tangible so you try to grab at them to no avail!

Ilah, the joy that you bring to our life is indescribable. We love you beyond measure!

Love,
Mommy & Daddy

Fall/Thanksgiving Inspiration Board

I had this year's Thanksgiving on my mind since last year as it will be my very first Thanksgiving that I will host in our home and entirely prepare. Last year I was 8 months pregnant on November 25th and wasn't feeling my best so Thanksgiving was low key {spent between my mom's house and my in-law's house} and I didn't partake in any cooking {don't get me started on smells!}. But this year will be a different story. I'm excitedly awaiting for the month of October and November to roll around at which time I will spruce up our home for fall, plan out the Thanksgiving menu {ok, truth be told, that's already done}, arrange a pretty tablescape, gather with friends and family, and share in all of it with our first baby, Ilah.

I put together an inspiration board of all things warm and lovely and plan to reflect these charming components in our home during the few months of fall, and on Thanksgiving day itself {yep, I will even attempt to replicate that cake {!}, just on a smaller scale}.

photo sources: large hurricane candle, place setting, gift tags, multi-colored corn, home decor, thanksgiving table setting, orange flourish plate, pumpkins on outdoor ledges, wreath, cloth napkins, to-go boxes, pillows, pecan pie, dried floral on plate, two tier cake.

A Slew of Randomness

1. I finally got around to cleaning up my topic labels. My list of blog topics was too long in my opinion so I condenced it. For instance, topic labels that were "baby clothes", "baby nurseries", "baby gadgets", "kids spaces", etc. are now all listed under "All Things Baby and Kids".

2. Saturday night we headed out to a Cuban restaurant for dinner. Yummm!! It was my first time eating it, and definitely won't be my last!

3. I bought Teresa Giudice's book Skinny Italian. I skimmed it while at Barnes & Noble a few weekends ago and after having a looksie, decided that I wanted it...so I ordered it off of Amazon for way less : ) And just a quick tid-bit for all you Real Housewives fans...her last name is always incorrectly pronounced as Jew-Dice. It's Jew-Dee-Chay {say it fast, in your best Italian accent, and there you have it!}.

4. A new baby store opened up by us called Buy Buy Baby. It's awesome. So now we will be saying Bye Bye to Babies-R-Us. The two stores are seemingly across the street from one another. It will be interesting to see if the Babies-R-Us by us will even stay in business {yes, Buy Buy Baby is that awesome!}

5. Although it was 95 degrees over the weekend, I, like most people, have started to think about sprucing up my house for fall and made a few purchases last week. I also put together an inspiration board that I will be sharing on my blog this week. By the way....can you believe that it's already the 20th of September?!?


6. I'm a pillow flipper. Meaning, I have to have my head against a cool pillow. When it gets too hot, I have to flip it....until I fall asleep of course. Anyone else like that?

7. I have to have a root canal on Thurday. I'm overjoyed about it {do you hear the sarcasm?}. I'm so upset about the hole thing. Whatever. Let's get the drilling and the hefty bill over with.

8. Last night I watched the movie "Letters to Juliet"...just because it was filmed in Italy. My obsession is all too real.

9. I love the Spinach Ravioli that Costco sells {the brand is called Pasta Prima}.


10. Which means that I had 3 cheat meals over the weekend. Darrrrn!!

11. I got a haircut over the weekend {5 inches off}. It was about time.

12. I am overdue on getting up Ilah's 8 month post up. It's on my to-do list.

13. Speaking of Ilah...man, she is getting sooo big! She has her 8 month appt on 10/12. I am so curious about her stat's!

14. A few weeks ago I discovered Pampers Extra Protection - by accident. I came across a coupon in the paper and gave them a try. We definitely needed a diaper that provided just that....extra protection. Because let me tell you....getting up in the middle of the night, every night, to change the sheet and change Ilah into new pajamas was literally becoming exhausting. Thankfully these diapers have provided relief....for all of us.

15. I think I'm going to cancel out Keeping up with the Kardashians from my DVR. The show just seems so staged now - and even if it was in many ways before, it's so obvious now and it's just becoming annoying.

16. I can't remember the last time I had something sugary and sweet. Two weeks into my lifestyle change and I'm doing good!

17. I rocked a Bumpit to church yesterday.

18. I found a new and easy way to keep track of our budget/expenses. You can check out the excel templates here. I downloaded and use the Household Budget Spreadsheet. I love it because you can customize it, easily see your overages or your savings, and it does all the math for you. Again, I love it!

19. My to-do list is ever growing. Just when I get one thing done, three more things are added to the list.

20. My mom will be having a small procedure done tomorrow. Can you please pray that all goes well? Thanks! : )

Hope you all had a great weekend!